Together Dance

Together Dance

We have known each other in every life since time began,
our souls, together dance through all millennia,
in every life I find you and you smile that lovely smile,
I sense your warmth and know I am home.

Posted in OP | Tagged as: Utterings

Overcome with Joy

Overcome with Joy

There once was a young boy who enjoyed being outside at night gazing at the stars.

In the faint star lit landscapes his imagination would transport him to an intriguing world where the trees would dance in the slightest of breezes. Bushes would take the shapes of knights on horses and dragons embraced in epic battle.  In the dimness the animals scurrying would appear as children at play, their primal cries like laughter. Under the celestial dome there was a visual quiet, a palatable deviation from harsh daytime, a quietness that allowed more imagination and less thought.

After a long day of traveling far from home, after the evening meal as friends and family settled down from the journey behind them, the boy was excited to see the setting sun and looked forward to go outside on this crystal clear night to view the stars from someplace new.  What wonders awaited, what vision would he see?

The young boy found a quiet spot near a tree that gave him a view of the southern sky.  The sun was setting and a rainbow of colors lifted up from the horizon, the warm colors of the sun with it’s orange and gold fading softly into blues and then into a star filled black.

Away from the chatter of the day, the boy’s mind began to be filled with images and delights of the star lit earth.  The sounds of a slight breeze filled the air and as the sun disappeared below the horizon the night lit up with a million specks of twinkling stars.  “The best part of the day” the boy whispered to himself, getting comfortable in the soft cool grass.  A song began to play in his head, a familiar song, the one that played every night.  The boy was at peace, home away from home with the stars.

As the boy stared out a new light appeared, a light in the sky of blue and white. At first it was dim, but the landscape became brighter and brighter as this source of light came closer. At first the boy was confused, had he fallen asleep and this was the dawn?  The dawn would fill the sky, yet, this light didn’t take away the stars as the sun did, it made the stars and the landscape much clearer to see.

But the light, this light was like that of the stars, blue and white, a pin point in the sky, yet it filled the landscape with color.  Colors so vibrant and stunning, highlights bright with sharp shadows, it was beautiful.  Unlike the stars he could real shapes and deep colors, unlike the sun he could see the stars still in the sky, it was a perfect balance between day and night.  In the excitement his mind erupted with ideas and dreams brought on by the more dramatic movement of the light in the trees.  In the moment, in that brief moment he saw the world, from the stars in the sky, to the tress, to the ground below, he saw it all at once and his imagination soared.

He was changed, no longer a separation between night and day, no longer one or the other, the boy, through the light of this new star saw that day and night, sky and earth were all connected in a cosmic dance in which he was part.  This star was moving quickly across the sky, in it’s moment it cast it’s light differently across the earth and everything seemed to change as the boy just stood there, in awe, in gratitude at being able to witness it.

Just as the star had come up from the Horizon in the west, it moved quickly to the horizon in the east, and as it fell below the horizon the sun rose up to meet it and a new day had begun.

The years had past and the boy had grown into a young man and with the responsibilities as a young man has.  It was rare that he had the chance to sit in the night and watch the stars, to stare across the star lit landscape and dream.  Even so, he never forgot the night where the shooting star had appeared and how it had shown him a different world, a better world.  The experience helped the young man understand how things worked, and with that understanding he became successful.  He learned and understood things about art, music and life and even felt obliged to do all he could do, to be the best he could be because of the experience that the shooting star had given him.  On nights where he could sit out and dream, he began to miss the star, began to miss what he had seen, but with every success he would smile and think about the song that played in his head and the star that lit up the sky many yeas ago.

Walking with friends, as the sun again set, like it had done so many times before, the young man noticed something familiar on the ground, a light, a beautiful blue light, it was the light of the shooting star!  The young man looked up and there it was, filling the night sky and shining it’s pure blue white light on the landscape below. The young man’s friends didn’t, couldn’t  understand and watched with confusion how their friend followed the star, calling out to it and singing the same song over and over.  But the young man felt the joy of that younger time and again saw the world and how it is all connected.  And like before, as the star dropped to the horizon the sun came up to meet it, but this time was different.  This time the young man was confused, he had seen the star, he had seen the light, he was again inspired, yet he was sad as well.  He was sad that the star was gone.

Time again had past and the young man grew to manhood with all of the responsibilities and duties. It had been years since the man had sat quietly alone in the night, imagining, to him it had seem like a dream that he had ever done such a thing.  Whenever there was a chance, as he walked at night from place to place, he would look up and hope that a spark of a twinkling star would alight his failing imagination.

While traveling in an ancient city the man came across an image on the ceiling of a very special and scared place. The ceiling was a dome, and on the dome was a mosaic and that mosaic was of a star, a beautiful blue white star.  His heart poured out joy as this image brought back the first encounter he had with the shooting star in his youth. The joy turned to sadness as he remember the feeling of loss at the second encounter and as he looked at his life felt guilt that he had not done all that he was inspired to do.

At the moment he declared in his heart that he would do what he was inspired to do and find the star again and be ready when it returned. As his travels ended, filled with determination, he gathered every book, researched and studied, calculated and planned till he found the time where the star would return, he also found the place, the place on earth that would bring him closest to the star as it passed.

The man had climbed the highest peak on the day the star was to return. His body, his mind was filled with anticipation as the sun began to set behind the hills.  As the sun dropped below the horizon a point of light appeared, it was the star. The man was filled with joy, he was going to be with the star at least once more.

As the star came closer overhead, the man looked at the valley below, seeing the world again as he had seen it so many years ago, not only did he see the world completely again, and due to his studies and travels he understood what he saw this time as well.

The star, so beautiful as it came closer, filling the sky and covering the land with its light, the man desired to be closer to it.  The song that had played in his head with his first encounter began to play again. Abandoning all reason and with every ounce of strength he ran as fast as he could to the ledge of the mountain an leaped with all the energy he possessed.

There he was floating in space with the star bringing a most unique light to his understanding and dreams.  The star which had shown him a life and world that few if any had ever seen.  The man was with the star, so close as to the feel the warmth of her upon his face and he felt peace. He turned and looked down, seeing the world from the stars perspective he was overcome with joy, “this” he shouted, “this is what life really is! This is freedom!”.  But his joy faded as quickly as it came as he turned back to the star and saw it moving away.   He began to feel the rush of the wind upon his face and he realized that he had begun to fall away from the star.   His heart sank, he was falling.  As the mountain rush past, his heart filled with grief and sorrow of those in life he would be leaving behind. They would never understand or know the joy that had brought the man to this point, he wept.

As the ground rushed to him he turned once more to fix his eyes on the star, calling out for it. Then in an instant, he remembered their first encounter and remembered the warmth of the star upon his face and his sorrow turned once again to joy.

The man laid upon the rocks looking towards at the sky, watching as the shooting star continued to move away, he could feel the life from within him pour out and coat the stones below. Calling out to the star one last time, one last time remembering how if ever for a moment the warmth, joy, the completeness and freedom he felt. His eyes closed, his heart sank, thinking of all that he had given for that moment, his final thoughts would be so bittersweet.  He struggled with his final breaths just as the sun crest over the mountain ridge, a beam of light broke and warmed his face, covering him with a soft and comforting glow, he whispered her name one last time and was no more. 

Posted in CD, OP | Tagged as: CD

All the Things That Never Were

I dreamt of you last night

I dreamt of you last night, you walked past and I hid my face. I hid my face because I knew it was a dream and dreams are in sleep and sleep ends at dawn and my heart, my torn and broken heart did not want to bare the burden of losing you again, like so many times before.  Yet I saw your eyes, those beautiful eyes and heard your footsteps as you walked past and that darken soul of mine tasted joy again if all to briefly.

As I feared your footsteps stopped and I heard you call my name, your voice so clear and true.  Oh the pain of being ripped in two by a heart that wants to run and a soul that needs to stay.  I stopped and turned to see you standing there, smiling, smiling that smile that made me yours so long ago.  My heart sank as it fell deeply in love with you again, as if it had a choice and I could do nothing but smile and anticipate you being near. Once again, your eyes, those eyes, for when looking into them there is not only peace, but the reflection of all you ever believed I could be. Because I loved you, because I love you, nothing brings me joy more than being what you see me to be.

You spoke my name and interlaced your arm with mine, asking all the questions that you have always asked about how I have been.  And I looked at you, feeling your warmth, looking lovingly at you, commenting on beautiful you were,  as you are, as you always will be to me.  We laughed and smile and walked, talking of all the things that never were, and I remember sighing, thinking how perfect the day had been as I watched the falling sun cast a warm sunlit glow across your perfect face.

Morning came as it always does, and the dream was done.  I believed this time I was doing well, but then as I read the news of the day a word in the page caught my eye.  It was your name, just your name, buried in the text of the page.  I read it again and again, hearing myself say it as the tears started to roll down my cheeks.  How silly I felt, it was only a word on a page, it was only a dream, yet the tears and the heartache are real and I have to start the healing of losing you again.

Posted in CD, OP | Tagged as: CD

Terrible Poverty

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.

Posted in Utterings | Tagged as: Utterings

You Carry Away With You a Reflection of Me


You carry away with you a reflection of me, a part of me

You carry away with you a reflection of me, a part of me.
I dreamed you;  I wished for your existence.
You will always be a part of my life.
If I love you, it must be because we shared, at some moment,
the same imaginings, the same madness, the same stage.

Posted in CD | Tagged as: Utterings

To Love at All

To love at all is to be vulnerable

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

Posted in Utterings | Tagged as: Utterings