It is in the quiet that hurts most.

When all of the outside distractions are gone and all that is left is quiet.

As my mind quiets, my heart searches for peace.

The only peace it has known has been with you, and for a moment as a memory of our joy is found there is great, total peace.

Then as fast as it came, the peace is replaced by the deepest darkest pain, the pain of realizing that you, that we, are gone.

What brought us here? Why has this place, this moment with you been the single place I’ve lived?

Why has it defined me? Why do I feel such sorrow when I think of us here, is it knowing, now decades later how special it was, how innocence, how complete. Is this the sorrow of an old man’s knowing that he walked away from the only love he ever knew?

Would I give anything to be back here with you? Or would I let you slip away from me again?

We walked hand in hand my dear one, the autumn leaves crackled under your feet and you laughed.  Your cheeks were blushing red after being stung by the season’s cold moist air, so beautiful, so peaceful, so perfect.